Phil online

My grandmother, Bettie Hord (her real name, not a nickname), was 90 years old. She was bright, alert and coherent to the end. At the age of 84 I gave her a computer, she got online, she learned to send email, and she learned to IM. She continued until her death yesterday at 90.

The last of her generation preceded her in death. Her husband, my grandfather, died two years ago at the age of 90. She had not wanted to outlive him, but she did. Her “little” brother, Pete, died 6 months ago. She was very close to him and his loss hurt her deeply.

My greatest concern for Momabet was that she would live through the ordeal of a nursing home with scant attention paid to her chronic pain (post-herpetic neuralgia afflicted her back) or her phobia of needles. Instead, she passed peacefully in her sleep yesterday, in her apartment where she lived independently, but in constant contact with nearby (and online) relatives and friends. Her pain and sorrow are over. For that I am thankful.

I visited with her two days before she died. She was as bright and alert as I’ve ever known her to be. She talked about her college days at Erskine in the 30’s, her calculus class, her friends, her roommate (who’s still alive) and her first date with her husband.

She had been quite homesick at Erskine. It was 500 miles from home. Previously she had never travelled more than 15 miles from where she was born. Then she brought “Jimmie” home to marry him, and she began her life. She brought these memories to life for us as if it had all happened last week. She seemed very happy. It was a nice visit.

My own mother left us when I was 8 years old. Momabet was the closest thing I had to a real mother all my life. And so I lost two of the most important family members yesterday: my grandmother, and my Momabet.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006 at 10:43 am and is filed under General, Personal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.