Pity the poor remnants of Ma Bell. They can’t help but be bureaucratic after decades of over-regulation and “5 nines” of reliability requirements. But Oh My God, it’s hard to deal with them.
And this is why Cable Modems will win.
Consider these examples:
In 2001 I ported my phone number from Bellsouth service to Comcast. It was so easy I don’t remember what I had to do to make it happen. Or maybe the physical wire hookup was so difficult that I don’t remember the pain of the LNP (Local Number Portability).
In 2003 I ported my number from Comcast to Vonage. I remember exactly what I had to do. It took me less than 5 minutes.
Step 1. I clicked a button on Vonage.com telling them I wanted to switch.
Step 2. I printed out the confirmation form for them to use to pressure Comcast to let my number go.
Step 3. I signed and faxed the form.
Step 4. I waited three weeks, and my Vonage account magically got a new phone number.
So now my wife is fed up with Vonage (too much unreliability, possibly the fault of Adelphia, our new cable modem service provider). She wants an old-fashioned landline. So I switched back to Bellsouth.
I told them I wanted to port my number from Vonage, but I want to have the Bellsouth service hooed up first. I don’t trust them to port the number first and also have my new service hooked up all on the same day. (That’s how they wanted to do it.)
So I have a new line with a new phone number from BS. Oh, but does it come with long distance? No… I have to add that. I wanted to add it from some other company, but that’s not so easy. So I chose to add the BS LD (online) until I can find the time to choose a better LD company. (To their credit, I only had to click a few buttons to complete this request, and I was assured it would take no more than three days to add BSLD to my line. Whoopee!)
Later I emailed them and asked them to port my old number from Vonage. They wrote back and asked why I wanted to port my new number to Vonage. No, no, I want this old number ported FROM Vonage to Bellsouth. They wrote back and told me I had to call in to speak with someone. This I did, after several rounds of voicemail tag.
I received an email that they would finish my request within 15 days.
42 days later, I emailed them again. I was told I would have to call in to complete this request.
I called. Someone who was far too happy to speak with me spoke with me. I explained what I wanted to do. She was confused. “Do you want two lines or is the second number going to be a RingMaster(tm) line?” No, I want to lose the current number and port the old number from Vonage.
She puzzled over this for a couple of minutes. Then she explained that on the day of the switch I would be without service for a few hours at the most.
Without service?! WTF? Why will I be without service?
“Sir, you did say you want to disconnect the old number, right?” Yeah, but what if I add the Vonage number as a RingMaster(tm) number. Then I would have two numbers on the line, right? Then couldn’t I just turn off the other number and still keep my service active? “No sir, when the first line is switched off, you would still be without service for a few hours.”
Holy Shit. I can’t imagine any VOIP provider treating their service like this. I told her so, too. But there’s nothing she can do about it.
Oh, but then we spent the next 20 minutes discussing my service options (yes, I want to keep them the same; I think I spend less than $25/month on long distance service; no, I do not want unlimited long distance from BellSouth; no, I do not need a 900-number block; yes, I understand there is a long list of alternative LD providers, and no I do not want you to read them to me; no, I still do not want one of the three internal wiring maintenance plans you are offering; etc.; etc.)
And finally I was forwarded to someone in India who acted as an independent third party to verify that I am who I say I am (or at least I know my birthdate) and that I really do want to make all these changes (which are really not changes at all) and that I really do want to port this phone number from Vonage (finally!).
And then I was done. It only took about 40 minutes on the phone, and I’ll only lose service for a few hours. (And a helpful recording will inform callers what is happening.)
What a joke!
And guess what? Comcast bought Adelphia. I’m thinking about switching my phone service to Comcast again as soon as they offer it in my neighborhood.
The sooner the better.
11-13-2006: Update: They sent me a letter in the mail. I think it says they won’t port my number until I pay the outstanding balance of 43 cents. I think it says that because it’s all in Spanish. I don’t read Spanish well. This is not raising my confidence.
So failing this, a hotkey is my next best option. That maybe better, even, since it puts the switching under my control.
Whoa… That’s a lot of impersonal mail. I think I should start unsubscribing from these (or sending them to /dev/null). That’s a job for another day…
